Is it true that we can be okay internally, even when everything around us isn’t? Especially in the past year and a half, with COVID restrictions swirling and a heightened increase in social unrest and conflict-ridden relationships, it can be tempting to believe we all must just succumb to the “dumpster fire” of 2020-2021 and hold out hope for a better year in 2022. While it can feel like life is hurling curveballs at you extra fast with no end in sight, we don’t have to avoid life altogether to cope. There are ways you can navigate these unsteady times with a sense of strength and resiliency. Consider these 5 resiliency boosters most therapists recommend to their clients as they navigate an uncertain world.
- Accept where you are. This does not mean resign yourself to staying that way, but just like swimming straight into a riptide will only take you underwater faster, digging your heels in and refusing to acknowledge the difficulty of your current reality (though escapism or blaming everyone else) will only prolong your struggle. A common therapeutic theory suggests that at the core of all growth is being able to balance both acceptance and change. Things are hard (acceptance), but they don’t have to stay that way (change).
- Examine (and potentially decrease) your expectations for yourself. One rule of thumb I share with my clients is that if you have a lot going on externally, hold off on the deep work internally— and vice versa. If you’re in a season of deep emotional introspection and growth, give yourself the freedom to pass on making large external changes. Perhaps this is the time for therapy to focus on building coping skills as opposed to doing a deep dive into childhood pain that may leave you feeling more vulnerable than when you started (there is a time and a place for that, but it’s usually when you feel a bit more solid in day-to-day life). Inevitably, the natural process of stress will lead you to grow internally from external struggles and vice versa, so taking your foot off the gas for a moment may be just what you need to notice and internalize those lessons coming your way— without getting overwhelmed by them.
- Eliminate extras, but prioritize essentials. Find something you like to do— and do a lot of it. In the midst of the pandemic when I felt like my world was spinning out of control, I prioritized daily walks. The solitude, the endorphins and the sense of going somewhere while otherwise feeling completely stuck was sanity saving for me. Perhaps it’s a certain show or a routine that brings you comfort. Do it often and unapologetically. Do it when you feel like it and when you don’t, because chances are you won’t regret any efforts of true self-care after the fact. These repeated efforts actually build up pleasure pathways in your brain. Repeated activation in those areas can turn a difficult external circumstance into a bearable one and take the edge off a tense moment.
- Picture yourself in 10 years looking back on this season. Ask yourself this question, “If I were to walk this out faithfully, what decisions can I make NOW that would lead me to feel good about this season 10 years from now?” When we feel like the world is spinning, it’s hard to move past our present experience of pain and feeling overwhelmed. It feels like this season will last forever… but it won’t. This is just a chapter, not your whole story. How do you want your character to handle this particular chapter? What healthy choices can you choose to make, within this one chapter of your greater story? Prioritize living faithfully, not perfectly, in the hard times.
- If you’re having trouble feeling okay inside when the world around you is not okay, don’t be afraid to ask for help. Every therapist I know has seen a therapist at some point in their lives. Seeking counsel can offer you a bird’s eye view of your situation. A good therapist can act as a guide who helps you shine light on the next right step in your story.
If you’re in the greater Atlanta area and would like to be connected with a vetted, grace-based therapist who can help you learn personalized tools to be okay even when the world around you isn’t, take the free 10 minute assessment at www.clearpathcounseling.org. Clear Path truly believes that reaching out for help is hard enough, finding it should be straightforward and simple. It’s okay to not be okay, but you don’t have to stay that way.
Recent Comments